- "The One That Got Away" is a reality show where contestants date people from their past.
- Vince Xu, one contestant, told Insider he joined the show after turning down a spot on "The Bachelorette."
- He found love with a high school classmate, but they ended up breaking off their engagement.
Vince Xu is no stranger to love and commitment.
Years after ending a nine-year relationship with his high school sweetheart, the Los Angeles-based personal injury lawyer decided to join the first season of Amazon Prime reality show "The One That Got Away," where contestants date people from their past with the goal of getting engaged.
Xu formed an intense bond with his high school classmate Yurika, who he hadn't spoken to in 10 years before they reconnected on set. According to Xu, his personal growth over the last decade gave him the confidence to find someone to marry on the show.
At the end of season 1, Xu and Yurika ended up engaged, but broke off their wedding plans in July, citing long-distance relationship troubles. Still, Xu doesn't regret being vulnerable on television because it allowed him to be intentional and honest with himself about his relationship goals.
"You actually take time to explore your own self. In real life, you're dating somebody, and you're not really putting too much thought into it. You're just kind of texting and very casual and the feelings develop very slowly," Xu told Insider.
The show producers constantly asked contestants how they felt, and suggested they write their thoughts down after dates, he said. If it weren't for that, Xu doesn't think he would've reached the level of self-reflection required to go after what he wanted.
After ending a 9-year relationship with his high school sweetheart, Xu felt ready to find love again
Xu spent nine years in a relationship with his high school sweetheart, which included starting a business together. After he realized the life they built wasn't his vision for his future, they parted ways.
After ending another, three-year long relationship, Xu dated on Bumble but found online dating draining. So when a producer slid into Xu's messages on the dating app, asking if he'd be a contestant on a new dating reality show, he was intrigued by the concept.
Xu, who was previously approached to be on "The Bachelorette," said reconnecting with people from his past interested him more than meeting strangers.
"This actually seems real because you're not strangers. You know these people already, and so you have a little bit of a connection to go off of," Xu said.
Going into the show, Xu said he was looking for a partner he could "spend the rest of his life with," someone who has family values but also enjoys a night out, he told Insider.
According to Xu, his previous relationships helped him pinpoint his current relationship goals and values. While one woman he dated was more of a wholesome introvert, the other loved nightlife, and Xu realized he wanted a balance of the two.
The couple broke off their engagement when the realities of a long-distance relationship set in
On "The One That Got Away," Xu developed feelings for Yurika quickly. He felt comfortable enough to open his heart to her, he told Insider.
Their connection intensified to the point he bargained with producers, asking them to give him more off-camera time with Yurika, Xu said. Even with his list of values in mind, and knowing that Yurika lived across the country in New York, he ultimately followed his heart. Xu and Yurika got engaged during the show's season finale.
"I always stuck to how I felt and went that route because that's love, right? Sometimes you can't really explain why you fall in love or say, 'This is exactly who I'm going fall in love with because she meets these character traits,'" Xu said.
The couple broke off their engagement this summer after realizing long-distance love wouldn't work for them. In a joint July Instagram post, Xu and Yurika said their whirlwind romance on the show didn't prepare them for real-life relationship challenges.
"It's safe to say, this wasn't a normal relationship whatsoever. But more so, we simply weren't ready to tackle these obstacles, since after all, we didn't have enough time to establish a solid foundation," they wrote.
They also mentioned reconnecting since the show ended, and say they're unsure where their relationship is headed: "All we can say is the love and care for each other is still incredibly strong and we are going to explore the possibility of a second chance. After all, isn't that what this show is all about in the first place?"
"The One That Got Away" is available to stream on Prime Video and Amazon Freevee.
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