I recently took the love language test and “gift receiving” was my primary language. Being a natural giver, I find myself receiving unexpected presents on many occasions. Therefore, when a “mysterious coworker” surprises me with presents--no matter how insignificant--I can sometimes misunderstand her motive. As generosity easily reciprocates, my innocent act of exchanging gifts can easily spiral up to a root cause of the “hazard of attraction.” It’s easy to find myself falling under the charm of someone else who speaks the same primary love language as mine, and assuming more than was intended. Yet Proverbs warned me that the “ ‘mysterious woman’ is sharp as a double-edged sword.”
Being from a French speaking country, I naturally speak one of the five romance languages and my body language can easily be misleading. In fact, during my first years in the United States, one of my close friends rebuked me on several occasions for flirting when talking to women when I thought I was just being courteous. That was never my intention, but it took some cultural reflection to understand why my being courteous could be perceived as courting someone. In this case I am the “mysterious man.” I can picture King Solomon advising young women that: “his tongue is smoother than oil, but in the end he is bitter as gall.”
One of the most valuable lessons Jesus taught me is to “stay alert and pray so that I won’t give in to temptation.” He also taught that “my spirit is eager, but my flesh is weak.” This implies that even though I vowed to love my partner all the days of my life, seasons of temptation lie ahead.
I think of Pastor Adam’s master keys to relationships that last as gifts to allow married men and women to rejoice in the partner of their youth. They are also invaluable when it comes to healing any relationship on the brink of utter ruin. A long lasting relationship requires daily commitments and perseverance. It requires time to spend getting to know each other well--not just an immediate attraction. And as one who would rather light a candle than curse the darkness, here is a note to my future self for a happy, long lasting and harmonious relationship:
Dear Me,
Remember the five keys to relationships that last and apply them well.
Remember seasons will come where you must “do love until you feel love.”
Remember all the things you did at first and seek ways to cherish your “lovely deer.”
Stay alert and pray that you won’t give in to temptation.
Above all, “may your love fountain always be blessed.
And may you rejoice in the partner of your youth.”
Daily Prayer: Lord, here I am. Use me to bless my partner today. In Christ’s name, Amen.
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