Modern Love Podcast: When Two Open Marriages Collide - The New York Times

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“This situation — entering the hospital room of my wife’s lover — risked exposing our oddness in a way that unnerved me.”

Brian Rea

What are the boundaries of an open marriage? And what are the boundaries of an open marriage when your wife’s boyfriend has an accident that puts him in a coma? Do you introduce yourself to the hospital workers as the patient’s girlfriend’s husband?

Wayne Scott and his wife, Elizabeth Thielman, have a “creative arrangement,” as Wayne puts it in his Modern Love essay. They share the children, the cats and the mortgage, but they have permission to see other people romantically.

On today’s episode, we hear Wayne’s story about an accident that tested the parameters of their marriage, and we talk to Wayne and Elizabeth about how they have navigated their relationship in the years since.

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Wayne Scott and his wife, Elizabeth Thielman, on a hiking trail in Oregon.

Wayne Scott

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  Wayne Scott and his wife, Elizabeth Thielman, on a hiking trail in Oregon.

  Wayne Scott

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  The couple with their daughter Miriam in Manzanita, Ore. They have been married since 1993.  

  Wayne Scott

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  The couple with their son Miles, who is now 19. “As the youngest, he has been the most comfortable with our unconventional arrangement because he never knew anything different,” Wayne said about Miles in his Modern Love essay.

  Wayne Scott

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  In the episode, Wayne said that Elizabeth’s relationship with Eric, who was in the accident, ultimately strengthened their own marriage. “I don’t know that we would have been as successful if they hadn’t shared some of their ideas and wisdom — things they learned because they’d just been doing it longer,” Wayne said about Eric and his wife, who are also in an open marriage. 

  Jay and Jan Photography

Hosted by: Daniel Jones and Miya Lee
Produced by: Julia Botero, Elyssa Dudley and Hans Buetow
Edited by: Sara Sarasohn
Executive Producer: Wendy Dorr
Music by: Dan Powell
Mixed by: Corey Schreppel
Narrated by: Edoardo Ballerini
Special thanks: Julia Simon, Mahima Chablani, Bonnie Wertheim, Anya Strzemien, Joanna Nikas, Choire Sicha, Lisa Tobin, Sam Dolnick and Ryan Wegner at Audm.

Thoughts? Email us at modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com.

Want more from Modern Love? Read past stories. Watch the TV series and sign up for the newsletter. We also have swag at the NYT Store and two books, “Modern Love: True Stories of Love, Loss, and Redemption” and “Tiny Love Stories: True Tales of Love in 100 Words or Less.”

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