If your husband says he is not in love with you, it’s important to critically consider what you want to do and how you want to move forward. Importantly, the marriage doesn’t have to be over if your husband is willing to work though this with you and wants to find ways to fall in love all over again.
According to Henry, it’s about recognizing the difference between being in love and loving someone. “Being in love doesn’t equate to whether you love someone or not. I think being in love can be an ebb and flow, whereas loving someone should be more constant,” she explains. “The marriage doesn’t have to be over because feelings have changed. I think it’s unrealistic to expect that the intensity or level of feeling will be the same over time because circumstances can have negative impacts on the relationship.”
Perhaps something has pulled you and your husband apart. But if you’re both still committed to working on the relationship, it’s possible to bounce back. On the flipside, if your husband knows his feelings won’t change again—or he isn’t willing to put in the effort to see—then it may be time to consider divorce.
It’s also worth noting—because many people may wonder—if your husband says he isn’t in love with you anymore, Henry says it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s because he’s in love with another person. There are many reasons why people fall out of love, and most often it has to do with people simply growing apart.
“Maybe he’s going through a transition, or maybe you’ve changed without realizing it,” she says. “In a marriage, partners need to communicate frequently because they are individual people growing at different rates.”
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