Every Christmas, Autumn Rodriguez spends the day with her grandmother.
It begins with a visit to the cemetery where her grandmother’s brother is buried. They then join the rest of the family, passing out gifts to all the grandkids.
But this year, Rodriguez will visit the cemetery alone. Her grandmother is now laid to rest there.
Amalia Martinez, 62, died July 25 after battling COVID.
“I’ll tell her Merry Christmas,” Rodriguez said. “And I’ll tell her that I miss her, and that everybody is holding up. They’re doing OK.”
There have been more than 300,000 COVID-related deaths in the United States this year and more than 11,000 in Massachusetts.
This holiday season looks different for many as people are having smaller gatherings and some are opting not to travel to stay safe during the pandemic. But for families who have lost a loved one due to COVID, there is a distinct absence this year -- through an empty seat at the dinner table, gifts already bought that will never be unwrapped and hugs that will never be given, even after the pandemic ends.
Autumn Rodriguez said she and her grandmother, Amalia Martinez, were best friends. They took trips to Disney World together, had sleepovers at Martinez's house and enjoyed going to Walmart.
Martinez was outgoing, family-oriented, often hosting her grandchildren for fun sleepovers at her house and loved Walmart, Rodriguez said laughing.
In 2015, Rodriguez got to choose one friend to bring to Florida with her. She chose her best friend -- her grandmother.
“She was a little bit scared of rides but I made her go on like all the rides with me,” the 19-year-old said remembering their trip to Disney World. “We took a picture in front of the castle. We watched the fireworks late at night.”
“My grandma was my best friend,” she said.
On May 16, Rodriguez’s birthday, she went to visit her grandmother and noticed she was coughing.
“I was like, ‘Grandma, are you OK? What’s wrong? Are you sick? Tell me. I could take care of you,’” Rodriguez said. “She was saying, ‘I just have allergies. I’m fine.’” Rodriguez didn’t believe her.
Two days passed and Rodriguez hadn’t heard from her grandmother, which was unusual as the two typically talked every day. When she finally heard from her grandmother again, the cough was much worse.
“She was coughing, literally coughing on the phone, like she couldn’t breathe,” Rodriguez said. “I was crying on the phone to my grandmother saying, ‘You need to go to the doctors to get checked, you’re older. You can get this and die.’”
On May 25, two of Rodriguez’s uncles took Martinez to the emergency room. Due to COVID-related restrictions, family members weren’t able to visit Martinez while she was in the hospital.
“Some days she was making progress, and other days she wasn’t,” the teenager said. “I literally called her all the time to see her on video.”
Martinez had to be put on ventilators. Then on July 5, doctors told the family she was dependent on the machine and was not going to be able to come off.
That’s when her family decided “they were going to take her off the machine.” The hospital allowed Rodriguez to come say goodbye.
“I was just talking to her, like, telling her how much I loved her,” she said.
About an hour later doctors came in to take her off the ventilator.
“She watched me come into the world, the least I can do is watch her go,” the 19-year-old said. “It’s a blessing and a curse at the same time.”
Thirty-minutes later, holding her granddaughter’s hand, Martinez took her last breath.
“I was holding her hand, and she had opened her eyes and she was looking at me,” Rodriguez said describing the last few moments with her grandma. “I was holding her hand, I’m like, ‘Grandma, it’s OK. It’s OK. It’s OK.’”
And that’s exactly what the 19-year-old nursing student would tell her grandma today if she could.
“I would like to tell her that I’m doing OK right now,” she said.
Not all families got to say goodbye in person.
“He fought COVID for about two or three weeks and just couldn’t fight anymore.”
Brett Stambovsky
Moments before Brett Stambovsky’s father passed, he was able to video chat with him.
“I told him I love him, and thanks for everything he did for me,” he said through tears. “And that we’re going to miss him every day.”
Stambovsky said he has some peace knowing he said everything he needed to his father.
“I know there’s hundreds of thousands of people in the hospital but you don’t know if they’re gonna beat it or not,” he said. “So if you have the chance to say something, don’t even wait till the last second. It’s very important.”
Richard Stambovsky, 70, was an accountant in Springfield for more than 40 years. He had 10 children and 20 grandchildren and loved fishing.
Richard Stambovsky, 70, was an accountant in Springfield for more than 40 years.
“Richard was always there for everyone; there was always a seat at his dinner table for anyone who needed it,” the obituary says. “He loved the beach, fishing, trips to Puerto Rico with his wife, hot dogs, chicken wings, pickles, and hot peppers, but more than anything he loved and lived his life for his children and grandchildren.”
Brett remembers going on going to the beach and fishing with his father. They’d always stop at the same restaurant in Niantic, Conn.
“We used to make fun of my dad because he would fall asleep and have like one eye partially open, so we always called it the Eagle Eye, he’d always be watching what we’re doing,” Brett said laughing.
Richard had 10 children and 20 grandchildren.
“Richard was full of strength and determination as he put up a hellacious battle against COVID in his last days,” the obituary says. “He left peacefully after saying goodbye to all of his children. The family would like to thank all of the amazing staff at the Baystate COVID Unit for being there for him.”
“He fought COVID for about two or three weeks,” said Brett. “And just couldn’t fight anymore.”
The last few months have felt like a blur to Brett as he deals with the loss of his father, and the holidays aren’t any easier.
“Usually we do one big Hanukkah party, the last night of Hanukkah,” he said. But this year because of COVID, his large family isn’t able to get together.
Instead, he’ll be celebrating Christmas with his girlfriend and her daughter. He’s also focusing on work — something he knows would make his dad proud.
“My father always told me if I have to work, work,” he said.
Linda Shea lost her partner of 10 years to COVID-19 in the spring. They lived on the Cape at the time but after his passing had to move back to Western Massachusetts. She's been working on fixing up the house she currently lives in and that has kept her busy, she started framing pictures and she also fills her evenings with sewing. (Douglas Hook / MassLive)
For Linda Shea, 70, it was also important to keep busy after losing her partner of 10 years.
“I think at times, I was so busy that I just kept going because if I stopped, then it was an issue,” she said.
Her partner, Dick Kingman, died April 1 from COVID.
He loved dogs and was a “real people person,” Shea said. Even after retiring from being a salesman, working for the same company for more than 40 years, he got a job at a grocery store.
“I think he liked the people contact,” she said. “He really enjoyed that contact with everybody.”
Linda Shea lost her partner of 10 years to COVID-19 in the spring. They lived on the Cape at the time but after his passing had to move back to Western Massachusetts. She's been working on fixing up the house she currently lives in and that has kept her busy, she started framing pictures and she also fills her evenings with sewing. (Douglas Hook / MassLive)
He had stopped working at the store during the pandemic, due to his age. Still, he ended up testing positive.
“He went in the hospital on a Tuesday, and he called me on Thursday to tell me that he had tested positive,” she said. “And he passed away the following Wednesday.”
Shea also tested positive, so she couldn’t go see him even if they were allowing visitors. Instead, she was able to talk with him on the phone two more times.
Then the doctors called to say he was no longer able to talk, and they were looking at care and comfort services.
She had been living and working on the Cape at the time but decided it was time to move back to South Deerfield, where she began fixing up a house she had been renting.
“It’s just been crazy,” she said. “I did all of these big life experiences — leaving a job, losing a partner, selling a house and moving — all within three months.”
Linda Shea lost her partner of 10 years to COVID-19 in the spring. They lived on the Cape at the time but after his passing had to move back to Western Massachusetts. She's been working on fixing up the house she currently lives in and that has kept her busy, she started framing pictures and she also fills her evenings with sewing. (Douglas Hook / MassLive)
But it was also important to have support from friends and family — even if she couldn’t spend time with them in-person.
“No matter what I needed, somebody’s always been there,” she said.
The 70-year-old still has friends from elementary school, and they’ve been doing weekly Zoom calls.
She also had people bringing her dinners, leaving them outside her door. Other people would call her while they were at the grocery store and pick up whatever she needed.
“People were absolutely amazing,” Shea said. “It’s at times like that that you realize how many good friends you really do have.”
Linda Shea lost her partner of 10 years to COVID-19 in the spring. They lived on the Cape at the time but after his passing had to move back to Western Massachusetts. She's been working on fixing up the house she currently lives in and that has kept her busy, she started framing pictures and she also fills her evenings with sewing. (Douglas Hook / MassLive)
One friend is also helping her knit her granddaughter a replica of a Harry Styles sweater for Christmas.
“My daughter has said, ‘I’m not even going to buy her anything for Christmas because nothing that I buy would match how excited she’s going to be when she sees that sweater,’” she said laughing.
“So there’s been some nice light moments like that and I think that’s what keeps me going,” she said.
Still, it can be difficult not getting out and seeing people.
“Nights are tough,” she said. “I’m used to going out every single day doing things and meeting with people. And now there are days when my car doesn’t leave the garage, and that’s difficult.”
Linda Shea lost her partner of 10 years to COVID-19 in the spring. They lived on the Cape at the time but after his passing had to move back to Western Massachusetts. She's been working on fixing up the house she currently lives in and that has kept her busy, she started framing pictures and she also fills her evenings with sewing. (Douglas Hook / MassLive)
It’s also hard to feel closure without the ability to have a funeral or memorial service, an option that is deemed risky during the pandemic.
“We still haven’t had a memorial service because things still keep getting worse and worse,” she said. “So for almost nine months now, there’s really been no final goodbye.”
Even though Rodriguez can go visit her grandmother’s grave, accepting it is hard.
“It feels unreal when I go to the cemetery to see her,” she said. “I know she’s no longer alive but it just feels like — this doesn’t feel right.”
Autumn Rodriguez would spend every Christmas with her grandmother Amalia Martinez. However, this year Rodriguez will be at Oak Grove Cemetery where her grandmother, 62-year-old Amalia Martinez was laid to rest after contracting COVID-19. (Douglas Hook / MassLive)
Today, Rodriguez is continuing to honor the memory of her grandmother by staying positive and continuing her traditions.
The 19-year-old has been working and going to school but she’s managed to get all of her cousins gifts for Christmas in honor of her grandmother.
“I had to make sure they had an extra gift because my grandmother is no longer here,” she said.
She got one younger cousin a “Frozen” coloring set and another young cousin is getting a painting bath set.
For her older cousin, she got her a bracelet “that has an angel on it to represent my grandmother because I know she’s going through it too.”
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