From boundaries to emotional needs, here are the ways that love and codependency are different.
We often mistake codependency for love in a relationship. When we stay together for a long time in a relationship, we often start to grow dependent on each other. However, it starts to get unhealthy when we mistake the dependency for romance in the relationship. Explaining this, Therapist Israa Nasir wrote, “Codependency prioritises the relationship over everything else in life. That’s not healthy because it leads to harmful habits such as sacrifice, unrealistic expectations, resentment, control and disappointment.” She further added that healthy love promotes interdependence, and not codependency. “Healthy love has interdependence. This means finding a balance between your own identity and emotions, and your partner's. There is a mutual dependence by each partner, and a respect of each other's independence.”
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Israa shared a few examples and drew clear differences between love and codependency:
Emotions: Love allows different emotions at the same time in partners, while codependency promotes enmeshed tangles of emotions that are not clear between the partners, leading to confusion.
Balance: Finding the balance between doing our own things and asking about our emotional needs to our partners is a healthy way of dealing in relationships. However, codependency promotes an unhealthy dependency on our partner for all kinds of emotional needs.
Identity: Healthy love promotes having our own identity, despite being in a relationship. Codependency believes in having an identity that involves both the partners.
Trust: In love, partners have the authority to make their own decisions, however, in codependency, control, fear and shame influences decisions.
Boundaries: Healthy relationships welcome boundaries set by the people involved, while codependency is threatened by boundaries and disapprove of the same.
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May 06, 2023 at 01:37PM
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Love Vs codependency: It's time to know the difference - Hindustan Times
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