- Roz Lewy and Ralph Insinger met at an art museum four years ago. They were 77 and 83 at the time.
- They fell in love after exchanging hundreds of emails that showed their intellect and sense of humor.
- The couple has published a book about their long-distance romance that flourished online.
When Roz Lewy's daughter, Karen, asked Lewy if she'd like to tag along for lunch with one of her clients, the grandmother of six said, "Why not?"
Karen, a lawyer, had told her mom a little about the white-haired gentleman they were set to meet. "She said that he reminded her of her father," Lewy, then a 77-year-old widow, said.
Lewy thought the same thing when she shook hands with Karen's charismatic client, Ralph Insinger, a widower who was six years her senior.
Insinger told Insider that his "heart was beating faster" when he saw Lewy for the first time. They met in the lobby of the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston, where Karen and Insinger lived.
They started out as friends but ended up getting romantically involved
Lewy, a retired English teacher, was visiting the city from her hometown of Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, to spend time with her close family.
The trio wandered around the exhibits. The older two chatted animatedly about their favorite artists before sitting down for lunch.
"It turned out to be a very good lunch," Insinger said.
It marked the beginning of a friendship that led to romance. Insinger and Lewy — who lived 1,500 miles apart when they first met — said that they got to know each other by exchanging emails.
The couple sent and received hundreds of witty messages throughout their courtship — sometimes as often as three a day.
Now, more than 200 of the touching — and often amusing — emails have been published in the book, "Beyond Beyond: A Chance Encounter, an Online Courtship, and the Language of Love," released last month. Insinger said that the first part of the title was inspired by a catchphrase of Lewy's.
"When she is happy or excited about something, she'll say, 'It's beyond beyond,'" he said, noting that she'd frequently use it in their correspondence.
Lewy, the more technically minded of the pair, once sent Insinger a step-by-step guide so he could "tape" TV shows. The first step, she explained, was to "make friends with your remote."
On another occasion, Insinger listed the interests and activities that kept him active. They ranged from gardening, cooking, and sketching on canvas to playing with his grandchildren and doing home-renovation projects.
"Yes, but can you dance?" Lewy wrote back, pretending that she was not impressed. Insinger made a point of ignoring the question in his return email. But he signed off, "Not Fred Astaire."
Lewy told Insider that another of Insinger's emails particularly amused her. "He said, 'I'm sorry to put you on the back burner, but I have to do my cooking,'" Lewy said.
The emails became a little flirty as time went on
She said that they'd also discuss the cultural interests they had in common, such as literature, music, and theater.
"I would come home in the evening and the first thing I'd do was get out my computer," Insinger, a former architect, said. He added, "I'd look at my inbox and see what Roz had written for the day."
Insinger flew down to Florida in February 2019 for a brief visit. "We went to places, eating out together, and simply chatting," he said. "It was such a warm experience that, after I left, I realized that there was more there than just friendship."
The emails began to get a little flirty. They had nicknames for each other like Presch — short for precious — Gadfly, Patriot, and Squeaky Clean.
"I had spent my widowhood feeling that I was independent and didn't really need to seek another mate," Lewy said. But, she said, there was definitely "chemistry between us."
She went on, "Ralph is romantic and poetical. He absolutely won me over very quickly."
They exchanged poems and handwritten letters. Lewy said that she was charmed when Insinger mailed her a still-life sketch that he'd done for her.
She thanked him in her next email. "I am awash with your creativity and thoughtfulness that leaves me speechless," she wrote. She went on, "Deep sighs seem to be the only elicited sounds in this beautiful silence."
Insinger, now 86, wrote in a later email, "The sun isn't up yet but your moonglow is already making this a splendid day."
The couple had a ceremony in 2020
He said that they decided "to spend the time they had left together," soon after acknowledging their love.
They had a low-key commitment ceremony in September 2020, attended by close family members. Insinger said he came up with the phrase "Ah ... Love!" that appeared on the top of the cake. "It expressed how I felt about Roz," he said. "We felt as if each of us was a gift to the other."
The pair now divides their time between Massachusetts and Florida.
Their book came to be after Lewy showed some of their emails to a friend. The friend was charmed by the content and contacted a publisher.
"We hope that our story inspires not only the older generation, but the younger generation," Lewy, now 81, said. She added, "It shows that you can find love in every chapter of your life."
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