“There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.” — Martin Luther
“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” — Bible (1 Corinthians 13:1)
God’s love. The Bible teaches that God loves us yet also teaches that God is love. First John 4:7-9 reveals, "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him." Since God is love, it’s easy to believe that He can love us. It also raises the question: Can we truly love if we don’t have God?
What is love? Although we know God is love, I don’t think the world has an adequate definition for it. If we are simply a link in the evolutionary process, does love have any meaning? Love isn’t necessary to drive us to have children; sex will do that.
Do animals love? Psychologists seem to have a variety of opinions on this topic. Perhaps the answer lies partly in the various types of love. We’ve discussed those in the past. The word for God’s love, agape, is found only in the New Testament, not the Old Testament. Jesus introduced agape love to the world, the kind of love that God is. Agape love enables us to be concerned about others without any return.
The Bible (New Testament) also says a man is to love his wife with an agape love. What does agape love look like?
The best short definition of agape love is found in the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13. Here is a quick summary:
• It is patient and kind.
• It is not jealous or conceited or proud.
• Love is not ill-mannered, selfish or irritable.
• It does not keep a record of wrongs.
• It is not happy with evil but is happy with the truth.
• Love does not give up; and its faith, hope and patience never fail.
• Love is eternal.
• Agape love is not self-love. In fact, it tends to put others before self. It is a self-sacrificing love. Jesus is the supreme example of the sacrificial nature of agape love. Husbands and wives in particular are called to love one another with a self-sacrificing love. Traditional wedding vows emphasize this self-sacrificing nature of marital love: “to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part...”
• Agape love is generous, not selfish or greedy, given without expectation of return, and sometimes it may be unreciprocated. One of the best ways to restore marriages is for husband or wife to love the other without any expectation of return. It is difficult to resist the love of a person who has no hidden agenda or expectation beyond blessing the recipient.
• Agape love is unending. It is not a temporary feeling or emotion. It does not depend on our mood. Even with God’s help agape love is difficult. It means we love our spouse regardless. We may get upset at each other but agape love says we care enough to listen to each other and to work out our differences in mutual agreement.
From the Compelling Truth website: "Agape love is ... not a feeling; it's a motivation for action that we are free to choose or reject. Agape is a sacrificial love that voluntarily suffers inconvenience, discomfort, and even death for the benefit of another without expecting anything in return." We are called to agape love through Christ's example: "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God" (Ephesians 5:1-2).
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