Some readers might recall my recent account about Rocky López, a scrappy lovable terrier I rescued and kept after moving to San Antonio in October.
If you missed it, here’s a summary: Amid the chaos of starting a new life — relocating here and beginning a job at the Express-News on the cusp of Election Day — I found Rocky during a walk with my Labradoodle, Sprocket.
It was a beautiful coincidence that wasn’t always easy. Rocky needed medical care for parasite infection. He peed in the house more times than I’d like to admit.
But he matured from a mangy puppy plucked from a sidewalk on Center Street to a beloved companion. He loved tussling in the yard with Sprocket. He demanded my attention whenever I sat at the computer too long, reminding me that all three of us needed activity. He charmed a mail carrier into tossing treats over the fence occasionally.
About a month ago, after rounds of deworming and vaccinations, I finally let him sleep in my bed instead of beside it. If you’ve never experienced the zen of napping flanked by two warm, furry dogs, you haven’t lived.
These days, I would give anything for one of those moments.
Rocky died the Monday before Christmas after a day brimming with promise. After our walk at sunrise, he played with Sprocket and the neighbor’s dog, and later gobbled his kibble served with a dollop of picadillo — a dish he patiently watched me make a few times before his payoff. He was scheduled for another vet exam the next morning.
López: A new life in S.A., and a new friend for life
Before sunset and after a nap, we played fetch at a park with a dog buddy. As I searched for the ball, I heard a car strike something — and then Rocky’s familiar squeal. But instead of begging for a midday walk or a taste of my lunch, it was a desperate goodbye. He had slid through a gap in the gate.
Within seconds, I rushed to collect his lifeless body from the road. When I got home, I collapsed in the kitchen and bawled, cradling Rocky for as long as I could. I told him how much I loved him, and that I couldn’t have asked for a better companion for me and Sprocket in the era of COVID-19 isolation. I told him I would never forget his strength surviving the harsh world of an abandoned puppy.
It’s easy to punish myself by wondering why an adorable gift from heaven would leave my life so soon and tragically. Was I burning the candle on both ends, barely managing everyone’s well-being?
But on my best days, I tell myself Rocky fell into my life because I needed more to love. I’ve been estranged from my family for more than 20 years, and it’s become ordinary to trample through life’s challenges — like relocating or adopting a stray dog — with sheer determination and self-reliance.
About 25 percent of U.S. families live with this dynamic, with reasons that range from clashing personal values to abuse, according to the Family Reconciliation Project at Cornell University.
“People don’t become estranged for arbitrary reasons. Estrangement is — especially for the person who initiates it — simultaneously positive and negative,” sociologist Kristina Scharp told WBUR-FM in 2018. “So estrangement can be a healthy solution to an unhealthy environment.”
To thrive in that atmosphere — whether momentarily or long term — requires redefining your family; for me, friends and, recently, pets.
“It’s actually the maintaining of the distance that’s often more difficult than accomplishing it in the first place. I think that it’s really important that they surround themselves with people who can offer support without judgment,” Scharp said. “Voluntary kin is really important, and it’s the family that we create for ourselves.”
After Rocky died, I stayed up late digging his grave in the darkness before waking up for work and typing with blistered hands. I laid Rocky into the ground in his usual sleeping position, then tucked two of his favorite toys under his arm — along with a lock of hair from me and Sprocket — before blanketing his body with one of my T-shirts.
Later, as I patted the earth, a fire truck drove by, and its siren prompted Sprocket to howl a somber aria.
Rocky left my life as quickly as he entered it. I thought I was helping Rocky when I took him in, but it was actually that terrific little terrier who provided the most comfort. We surrounded each other with love. He taught me to fully appreciate every moment with those we choose as family.
ricardo.lopez@express-news.net
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January 02, 2021 at 07:00PM
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López: A sorrowful lesson on the power of love - San Antonio Express-News
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